another year

geez it's 2011 already.
i have been so looking forward to 2011 and now stuff is happening that is going to challenge me to the hilt.
i definately do not want to get into that black place that i was in this time last year.. but things aren't looking  good at the moment.

i think i'll reflect on 2010.
a really good year after the early stuff. was soo happy at work.. my private life, a dream. my girls getting on and doing well. a few set backs but they are on top of them all now.

i have definately been addicted to etsy. bought lots of fabulous stuff and mostly those etsy girls have been so great to purchase from //@! but geez,, what is it with these 'self centred creative groups'. i get the 'lets meet and learn together' stuff... networking and learning from others is great.. having good friends and meeting up with them is great..  but what is it with the whole exclusion thing..
one of the ladies i have bought quite a lot from was nice at first and now treats me like i'm poison.
i do email a bit to the people i purchase from. as far as i'm concerned if i purchase something and it's going to cost quite a few dollars then i have the right to ask questions about the item and if the size is not right for me then ask if it can be re-sized.. and even with this up and down with moods person she kept saying.. yep, not a problem.. so L, what is it about.. she had a big session on her blog a few weeks ago after some people posted some pretty scathing stuff on it.. but geez L. why not look, learn and improve instead of rallying your like-buddies and protest about the 'unfairness' of it all. quite frankly i do think you need to be a bit more respectful if you are going onto the open market to sell your wares... and blog to pat yourselves on the back.   you really have upset me you know....

and.. these groups... if your going to blog.. and allow people to make comments.. whats with the 'selection' process...  and as for the 'contests'.. reeally..

anyway, that over..  there are some fabulously talented people out there. but please remember people.. we are all human... we are born, we live, we die... no one is better than anyone else.

why do we live in a world where we place people on pedestals because they look good, or sing OK, or 'act' or play sport..  why are these 'selected' ones allowed to live their lives with wealth and power.. there is so much inequity in this world and people 'allow' this to happen..  I DON'T GET IT...

i guess today i'm feeling pretty much vulnerable.
uncertainty..
the future...
but

i have the most awesome family.
i love them all to bits.
i'm not a bad person. i work in a profession which is giving and caring. i try with my utmost fullness to fulfil the sanctity of this calling. i live my life, avoiding conflict with others and maintaining isolation to attain this.
and.. i have my dreams. like everyone else.